2005: The Year of the Dirty Diamond!

(Dirty Diamonds in review)

By Brett Cooper (coopercollections@gci.net)

Okay, I am willing to totally admit that THE EYES OF ALICE COOPER was, for the most part, a dissapointment. The main reason was because I had been enjoying the heavy subject matter and sound that Alice had been using since Brutal Planet. Dragontown followed in the same vein and the shows were the coolest part of the whole Brutal Planet experience. I just wasn't ready for that phase of Alice Cooper to be over. While I consider myself to be one of Alice's most devoted fans (I prefer the term "professional fan") and an insane collector of any piece of Alice Cooper memorabilia that exists (yes, I am the lucky bastard who has one of Alice's leather jackets from the TRASH tour hanging in my closet--the Clockwork Orange jacket, to be precise. And no, it's not for sale so stop asking!), I am not one of the fans that thinks every single song and lyric and album that Alice puts out is pure genius. The man is an undeniable genius, but even geniuses have their off days. I think being the huge fan that I am also allows me to be one of Alice's bigger critics. Therefore, going back to EYES, I found most of my dissapointment lay in the fact that Alice had taken such a divergence from the two preceding albums that I had so enjoyed. I went into mourning. Sniff. While EYES had its moments of genius (i.e. "Man Of the Year," "The Song That Didn't Rhyme," "I'm So Angry"), it definitely had its share of filler material as well. I found Eric Dover to be too much of an influence on the album and songwriting, to be completely honest with you. I like Dover on an individual basis, but I don't necessarily dig what he brought to the Alice Cooper table.

Which brings us to 2005 and the impending release of DIRTY DIAMONDS and why I'm going to say right here and now that this album stands completely above EYES in nearly every aspect. Lot less filler, more Cooper than Dover, Roxie and Singer do excellent jobs, and Alice doesn't seem compelled to do another uneccesary love ballad a.k.a. "Only Women Bleed pt. 9." Here's my breakdown of the album's cuts:

WOMAN OF MASS DISTRACTION: First of all, the title is a very cool play on the WMD thing. A title that could only come out of Bush-era post 9/11 society. It's a strong song, a good opener for the album. I think this is the first time that Alice has used the word "castrate" in a song.

YOU MAKE ME WANNA: A guitar-driven song. Catchy tune.

PERFECT: This song is about a woman who is a legend in her own mind. She loves to sing at home, in her car, but can't sing a note in public. Love the line about J-Lo.

DIRTY DIAMONDS: This is one of the songs that Alice has previewed on his show. Alice's love of James Bond score comes through once again in this title track. Very heavy John Barry influence in this one and the song is built like it's a movie opener.

PRETTY BALLERINA: Another previewed song that Alice has played already, and also one of my personal favorites on the album. For those who still don't know, this song is a cover of a 1960's song by a group called the Left Banke. I'm a big fan of the 60's harpsichord-infused sound, and this song delivers. I have no evidence to back this up and this is just my personal musings, but I tend to think that "Pretty Ballerina" may have been a song that Alice may have liked when he was in high school and after all these years finally decided to cover it.

SUNSET BABIES (ALL GOT RABIES): This is a fun song and not much else to say. Paints very vivid pictures of the Sunset Strip life .

ZOMBIE DANCE: As Alice has stated, this song was inspired by and done in the style of his idols, the Rolling Stones. And it is just that. Very bluesy, cool harmonica.

THE SAGA OF JESSE JANE: Now this one is wild. Alice has said that "Stolen Prayer" is Alice-meets-Johnny Cash. If that is the case, then this is part 2 of the Johnny Cash songs. But unlike "Stolen Prayer," which taps into the dark side of Cash, "Jesse Jane" taps into the humorous side of Cash--and there was a humorous side to Johnny Cash, make no mistake. This song is about a crossdressing truck driver who winds up in jail in a small Texas town. The song is also very similar to an infamous scene from the television show, COPS, where the cops deal with a cross-dressing truck driver who's in a dress and makeup when they deal with him. Alice watches a lot of TV. You never know...

SIX HOURS: A slow song with an REM vibe to it.

STEAL THAT CAR: A song that grows on you the more you listen to it. It does indeed rock and has cool keyboards. One of the cooler songs on the album.

RUN DOWN THE DEVIL: The heaviest song on the album, and naturally I love it! It's a mid-tempo grinder that comes close to Brutal Planet material, proving that in case anyone wondered if Alice was getting ultra-lite, they were dead wrong and this song is proof.

YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY: A fun upbeat song. Rather unremarkable and doesn't necessarily scream ALICE COOPER when you hear it. But then again that's one of the cool and fun things about Alice Cooper--he can write a song about picking up human remains one year and sing about a crossdressing truck driver the next.

STAND: The same duet with rapper Xzibit that appeared on last year's Summer Olympics album, UNITY.

The copy of Dirty Diamonds that I have doesn't include the bonus track, "The Sharpest Pain," which seems to be appearing on the UK release. I find that DIRTY DIAMONDS is a natural evolution of EYES. It still has the raw garage band sound to it with maybe a smidgen more polishing done to it. I think Alice nowadays is writing albums that satisfy him and make him happy, which at this point in his career, he is more than allowed to do. I don't know if we'll ever see any more songs about death and destruction and necrophilia. I guess it may be a case of "been there, done that." And that's okay. If Alice is still putting out records nearly 40 years after the first release of PRETTIES FOR YOU and he's still happy doing it, then I'm happy. Hell, his next album could be a compliation of Judy Garland songs (see "Ballad of Jesse Jane") and I would probably be into it!

I'm finding myself really anticipating the tour. I'll be attending the Albuquerque, New Mexico and Los Angeles shows on 9/10 and 9/16, respectively. Be sure to say "hi" if you see me. I'll be the sexy blonde guy with Ali! See you on tour this fall!

Note: This review is the opinion of Brett Cooper and does not reflect those of Alice Cooper, his management or any other of his associates. This review is in no way connected to Alice Cooper or any of his associates.