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Gifted writer of the spiritual life, Henri Nouwen, in his book "Making All Things New" writes, "We can take a lot of physical and even mental pain when we know that it truly makes us a part of the life we live together in the world. But when we feel cut off from the human family, we quickly lose heart." And I would add: When we lose heart we are often unable to touch the holy. We often feel "untouched" by the love of God. You’ve heard the story about the child who was having difficulty sleeping one night. He kept crying out for his parents who were becoming increasingly frustrated. During one of the many visits to their son’s bedroom the mother said, "You need to remember that God is here with you." The boy replied, "Yeah, I know, but I was hoping for someone with skin on." God has created you and me with a built in need for people with skin. They are called friends. And they are absolutely necessary if we are to become ordinary. They are essential if we are to grow spiritually. Robert Wickes in his book "Touching the Holy" states that we need a rich mixture of friends to help us along our spiritual journey. He identifies four kinds of friends we all need. He calls the first kind of friend a PROPHET. Prophets are those friends who can tell us what we often don’t want to hear about ourselves. They do not create conflict but rather help us face the inner conflicts already present that we may be denying. Wickes writes, "Prophets point! They point to the fact that it doesn’t matter whether pleasure or pain is involved, the only thing that matters is that we seek to be with God in what we do and how we think, feel, and image ourselves and the world." The second type of friend is the CHEERLEADER. These are the friends who stand in our corner and support us and cheer us on no matter what. Cheerleaders, or encouragers, are needed to balance the prophets in our lives. In my life the best example of a cheerleader friend have been my grandparents. Recently I was talking with my 90-year-old grandmother. Knowing that someday I would likely be a grandpa I asked her for advice on how to be a good grandparent. She said, "Just love them….just love them no matter what." Pretty good advice. The third kind of essential friend is the HARASSER. This friend is one who will not let us take ourselves too seriously. Harassers help us to laugh at ourselves and maintain a lightness about life. They help us maintain a sense of perspective. Prophets. Cheerleaders. Harassers. The fourth type of friend we need is SPIRITUAL GUIDE. These friends help us experience God by the ways they talk the talk and walk the walk. They have their own vital relationship with God and are able to communicate this with their friends. Spiritual guides are not necessarily those who have all the answers, but those with whom we can share our questions about God and life on this planet. Spiritual guides are okay with living with the questions. They help us face our fears, appreciate a sense of healthy detachment, and lead us to a sense of enthusiasm and hope in a crazy and confusing world. There is a story I have wanted to tell you for a long time. I knew if I was patient that there would be an appropriate time to share it. That time is now. As you listen see if you can identify which type of friendship is present. Paul is the one telling his story about friendship. When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember well the polished old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother used to talk to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person - her name was Information Please and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anybody's number and the correct time. My first personal experience with this genie-in-the-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer. The pain was terrible, but there didn't seem to be any reason in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway - The telephone! Quickly I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information." "I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone. The tears came readily enough now that I had an audience. "Isn't your mother home?" came the question. "Nobody's home but me." I blubbered. "Are you bleeding?" "No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." "Can you open your icebox?" She asked. I said I could. "Then chip off a little piece of ice and hold it to your finger." After that I called Information Please for everything. I asked her for help with my geography and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math, and she told me my pet chipmunk I had caught in the park just the day before would eat fruit and nuts. And there was the time that Petey, our pet canary died. I called Information Please and told her the sad story. She listened, then said the usual things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was unconsoled. Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers, feet up on the bottom of a cage? She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul, always remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better. Another day I was on the telephone. "Information Please." "Information," said the now familiar voice. "How do you spell fix?" I asked. All of this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Then when I was 9 years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. Information Please belonged in that old wooden box back home, and I somehow never thought of trying the tall, shiny new phone that sat on the hall table. Yet as I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often in moments of doubt I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy. A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about half an hour or so between planes, and I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there. Then without thinking about what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please." Miraculously, I heard again the small, clear voice I knew so well, "Information." I hadn't planned this but I heard myself saying, "Could you tell me please how to spell fix?" There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess that your finger must have healed by now. I laughed, "So it's really still you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time. "I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your calls meant to me. I never had any children, and I used to look forward to your calls. I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister. "Please do, just ask for Sally." Just three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered the Information Please and I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" "Yes, a very old friend." "Then I'm sorry to have to tell you. Sally has been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago." But before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute. Did you say your name was Paul?" "Yes." "Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down. Here it is. I'll read it: 'Tell him I still say there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean'. I thanked her and hung up. I did know what Sally meant. The good news of the gospel is that we can be friends like this for each other. We can lead one another into the presence of the holy. We can be prophet, cheerleader, harasser, and spiritual guide for others. The reason we can do this is because of God’s friendship with us in Jesus Christ. He wants us to love one another. He wants us to be soul friends for each other. He wants to be our soul friend now and when we will sing in his world forever. As we come to the table of the Lord this morning let us be thankful for all the many friends who have guided us along the path of ordinariness. Let us come with a hunger, not in our stomachs, but in our souls. Let us come with a deep desire to be touched by the holy. |
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10/01/00 - Touching the Holy: Friends
