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I am the first born in my family of four children. First borns are notorious for going to great lengths to please others, especially authority figures. It’s easy to understand. When parents have their first baby everything is new….his first smile, his first word, her first tooth, her first steps. Their positive reactions send a strong message to baby, "Ooooh! This is cool! I can make Mommy and Daddy smile and laugh! I think I will do more fancy drooling!" When our first born, Jenny, was a baby she had a talent for drooling almost down the floor. Then she would suddenly slurp it back into her mouth just like that. I remember seeing it for the first time and shouting, "Kim! Come here and see what Jenny can do!" I was such a proud papa. Now it’s not that this doesn’t happen with second or third born children. In fact I seem to remember that Lauren did the same thing when she was a baby. It’s just that parents’ reactions are noticeably stronger the first time around. You’re not so sure? Try this little test. Check out your family picture albums. Of which child do you have the most pictures? In most cases it is the first born. Now I suspect that some of you parents are thinking, "Heck, I would love for my kids to have this "pleasing others" attitude. Your kids may be going out of their way to do things that are displeasing! Whenever your kids are not pleasing you, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't." "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." "Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" "It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and he was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the first parent asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" "I don't know," Adam answered. God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? Of course pleasing others is not solely relegated to first born children. We all have our moments of trying to please others. In fact it can be a good thing to please others. Certainly this is what we all tried to do at Christmas when we gave loved ones gifts. We wanted to please them…to make them happy. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to please others, a problem springs up when we believe that another person will LOVE us IF we please them. We secretly believe that our boss will accept us if we butter her up. We believe that a spouse will stop the abuse if we keep silent. We believe that neighbors will like us if we do nice things for them. If we have developed this kind of pattern of thinking and living then it becomes very easy for us to think that God acts this way as well. We would never admit it to others or ourselves but many of us are living by a secret motto that goes like this: God will love me IF I do such and such to please him. God will love me if I go to church faithfully. God will love me if I give generously. Where do we get ideas like this? It does not come from God. It is not from the Bible. In our gospel lesson for today we read about Jesus’ baptism. There is a very important point in this story: God, the Father, loved his Son BEFORE his public ministry of good works. Jesus did not have to DO anything to please God. He was already pleasing to him. "You are my beloved Son, with you I am well pleased." I believe this concept is a very difficult one for humans to understand. Kim and I are raising four children and we have tried very hard to separate what they do from who they are. How many times have we said to them, "We love you but we cannot accept what you have just done." Despite this message generations of children are growing up believing that their acceptance by others is dependant on what they do. The good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that God’s love comes first, before God’s pleasure at how we live our lives. This love is foundational. It is there regardless of whether we do anything to please God. If there is one truth I will struggle to learn my entire life it is this one. God loves me no matter what. Anything I do to please God will flow from this river of love and grace in my life. Sometimes I try to fool God and I do something to please God apart from this flow of love. I do an act of kindness because I think God will love me more. But that love is already there. God cannot love you or me any more than God does right now at this moment! And this love is present whether or not we have done anything to please God. The sooner this truth is embedded deep in our soul the better and more healthy life will be. The story is told of a guy who dies and goes to heaven where he meets Peter at the Pearly Gates. Before he can enter Peter gives him a few questions to answer. He has to accumulate 100 points before he can go in. "So, how often did you go to church?" Peter asks. "I went every Sunday," replied the man. "That's one point," answers Peter. "One point? Wow! I figured it would be worth more than that." "And did you give in the offerings?" asked Peter. "Yes, I gave 10% of all my income every week," answered the man. "Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth 3 points. Did you do anything else?" "Well, right off hand, I can't think of a whole lot. I did mostly what I thought I was supposed to do." "Well, we'll give you 5 points for good behavior, can't you come up with something else?" By this time, the man is completely flustered. He finally cries, "Well, I can't come up with anything else. It looks like no one can enter heaven except by the Grace of God!" St. Peter exclaims, "100 points! Come on in!" The only way we can please God is by leaning on the grace of God. Grace is something we only receive when we are truly humble. Many of us have layers and layers of hardened pride covering our inner, humble heart. To please God is to break through the crust and allow the Spirit to touch us with Love. Such was the lesson learned by this rebellious boy. He stood in the principal’s office a generation ago with his back arched, head cocked back and hands clenched defiantly. "Go ahead, give it to me. I can take whatever you dish out. I always have. Ain't nothin you people gonna do to stop me from doing whatever I want to do." The principal looked over at the teacher who stood nearby. "What did he do this time?" "Fighting. He took little Tommy and shoved his face into the sandbox." The principal turned to look at the boy, "Why? What did little Tommy do to you?" "Nothin, I didn't like the way he was lookin at me, just like I don't like the way your lookin at me! And if I thought I could do it, I'd shove your face into something." The teacher stiffened and started to rise but a quick look from the principal stopped him. He contemplated the child for a moment and then quietly said, "Today my young student, is the day you learn about grace." "Grace? Isn't that what you old people do before you sit down to eat? I don't need none of your stinkin grace." "Oh but you do." The principal studied the boy’s face and whispered. "Oh yes, you truly do. . . ." The boy continued to glare as the principal continued, "Grace, in its short definition is unmerited favor. You can not earn it, it is a gift and is always freely given. It means that you will not be getting what you so richly deserve." The boy looked puzzled. "Your not gonna whup me? You just gonna let me walk?" The principal looked down at the unyielding child. "Yes, I am going to let you walk." The boy studied the face of the principal, "No punishment at all? Even though I socked Tommy and shoved his face into the sandbox?" "Oh, there has to be punishment. What you did was wrong and there are always consequences to our actions. Grace is not an excuse for doing wrong." "I knew it," Sneered the boy as he held out his hands. "Lets get on with it." The principal nodded toward the teacher. "Bring me the belt." The teacher presented the belt to the principal. He carefully folded it in two and then handed it back to the teacher. He looked at the child and said. "I want you to count the blows." He slid out from behind his desk and walked over to stand directly in front of the young man. He gently reached out and folded the child's outstretched, expectant hands together and then turned to face the teacher with his own hands outstretched. One quiet word came forth from his mouth. "Begin." The belt whipped down on the outstretched hands of the principal. Crack! The boy jumped in the air. Shock registered across his face, "One" he whispered. Crack! "Two." His voice raised an octave. Crack! "Three..." He couldn't believe this. Crack! "Four." Big tears welled up in the eyes of the rebel. "OK stop! That's enough. Stop!" Crack! Came the belt down on the callused hands of the principal. Crack! The child flinched with each blow, tears beginning to stream down his face. Crack! Crack! "No please", the former rebel begged, "Stop, I did it, I'm the one who deserves it. Stop! Please. Stop..." Finally it was over. The principal stood with sweat glistening across his forehead and beads trickling down his face. Slowly he knelt down. He studied the young man for a second and then his swollen hands reached out to cradle the face of the weeping child. "Grace. . . ." God loves you and me. We don’t deserve it, but God loves us anyway. We don’t need to please God to get this Love. We need only accept it as a gift, freely given. And God is pleased whenever we act from this flow of grace in our lives. You are a child of God, God’s beloved. With you God is well pleased. |
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01/07/01 - Pleasing God
