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Have you ever fallen into the Comparison Trap? I know I have on more than one occasion. We fall into the Comparison Trap when we feel a tremendous urge to compare our physical appearance, our financial state, our children, our knowledge, our abilities, or our material possessions with those of another person. It stems out of a desire to see how we stack up with our peers. We see it in school when a teacher passes out test scores and the first thing kids do is turn to their neighbor and say, "What did you get?" We see it on the job where work performance and salaries are often compared with co-workers. We see it in teenagers when they absolutely have to have certain brand name clothes. We see it in churches where people look at someone singing in the choir and say, "I could never do that." We’ve all fallen into the comparison trap. Let me tell you about a time when I fell in over my head. It was 1957 and I was in Mrs. Baxter’s kindergarten class at Shawnee Elementary School in Huron, Ohio. We had finished our model clay sculptures and now they were on display throughout the classroom. We were allowed to walk around to look at everyone’s project. Mine was a model of a Dutch wooden shoe. In fact I have it here with me. While we were looking at everyone’s sculpture I picked up Janet’s clay project. It was the most pathetic excuse for an ashtray I had ever seen. I showed it to my friends, "Hey, look at Janet’s project. Isn’t it ridiculous?" They all shared my observations and laughed out loud. While they were laughing, suddenly I dropped the ashtray on the floor and a piece broke off. The room grew quiet as all eyes focused on me. Mrs. Baxter gave me a tongue-lashing I’ll never forget. And in the span of a few seconds I went from feeling very superior to very inferior. It was humiliating, but it was also humbling. And it was all because I had fallen into the Comparison Trap. Most of the time when you and I try to compare ourselves with others we end up with one of two feelings. Either we come away feeling small and inferior or we feel very superior to someone else. The problem with this is that we are often tempted to find our sense of self-worth by comparing ourselves with others. It is extremely dangerous to find our identity, our niche, our sense of self-worth by comparisons. This means our worth as a person is connected with the people we compare ourselves to. As long as we are a better cook than others, we can feel good about ourselves as a homemaker. As long as our kids are getting better grades than other kids we can feel good about ourselves as parents. As long as I make more money than my neighbor then I can feel okay about myself. But what happens when someone else can cook a better pot of spaghetti…or when friends make a better parenting decision…or when a co-worker makes more money than us? What happens to our self-esteem? Does it deflate like air escaping from a leaky balloon? Let’s look at the parable. The Pharisee and tax collector went to the temple to pray. The religious Pharisee prays, "Lord, I thank you that I am not like this low-down, scum-of-the-earth tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of my income." The tax collector prays, "Lord, I have sinned. Have mercy on me!" Which one of these went home justified before God? The tax collector. The Pharisee had fallen into the Comparison Trap and ended up thinking he was better than someone else. In what ways do you and I act like the Pharisee? Let’s take a little test which may help us find out. Question 1: Have you ever been critical of another church member who does not come to church as much as you? Question 2: Have you ever heard someone sing or speak and thought to yourself, "I can do a better job than him!" Question 3: Have you ever seen a street person walking along hunting for bottles and cans and thought to yourself, "I’m glad I’m not like her." If we are honest with ourselves there are many and different ways in which we get puffed up with pride. Girolamo Savonarola was one of the great preachers of the fifteenth century. He preached in the great cathedral of Florence, Italy, which contained a magnificent marble statue of the virgin Mary. When Savonarola started preaching at this cathedral, he noticed one day an elderly woman praying before this statue of Mary. He then began to notice that it was her habit to come every day and pray before the statue. Savonarola remarked one day to an elderly priest who had been serving in the cathedral for many years, "Look how devoted and earnest this woman is. Every day she comes and offers prayers to the blessed Mother of Jesus. What a marvelous act of faith." But the elderly priest replied, "Do not be deceived by what you see. Many years ago when the sculptor needed a model to pose for this statue of the blessed Mother, he hired a beautiful young woman to sit for him. This devout worshiper you see here everyday is that young woman. She is worshiping who she used to be." It seems that those people who are chosen for special honor or who possess extraordinary gifts of beauty and talent that elevate them above the rest are particularly vulnerable to pride. Look at our movie and sports stars. Muhammad Ali had just won another boxing title and was on his way home. On the airplane the stewardess politely said to him, "You need to fasten your seat belt." Ali replied, "Superman don’t need no seat belt." To which the stewardess politely responded, "Well, Superman don’t need no airplane either; please fasten your seat belt." You and I are like the Pharisee anytime we think we are better than someone else. I’m not talking about abilities. I’m talking about the inherent value of a human being. Bill Floerchcinger is a better carpenter than me, but that doesn’t mean God loves him more. Gavin Rueb, our choir director, can sing better than me, but that doesn’t mean I am less of a man because of it. Anyone in this room can cook better than me, but that doesn’t mean God likes you more than me. We’ve got to know who we are, not so much in our looks, our abilities, but in our relationship with God! And the key to sustaining a deep relationship with God is an attitude of humility. The famous author, Byron Shelley, wrote about a traveler from an ancient land. He saw in a desert country the remains of a huge statue with two vast legs standing on the sand. Beneath the legs, half sunk, he saw a shattered head whose ugly, sneering face accurately portrayed its original. On the pedestal he read the proud lines, "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty and despair." Many centuries had worn down the statue and this was all that remained. Pride will not last forever. Sooner or later the proud person will be brought to his or her knees and humbled, if not in this life, in the one to come. A martial arts student was meeting with his master and teacher at a table, having tea. The student said to his master, "I’ve learned all you have to teach me about defending myself. I want to learn one thing more now. Please teach me about the ways of God." The master took the teakettle and starting pouring the student’s cup full of tea. Soon the cup was full and began to spill over onto the saucer. But the master continued to pour the tea until it spilled over the saucer and then onto the floor. The student finally said, "Stop, stop, the tea is spilling over. The cup can’t take any more." The master then looked at the student and said, "You are so full of yourself that there is no room in your life for God. It is not possible for you to learn the ways of God until you learn to empty yourself." The person who thinks he is better than another will have difficulty with prayer. She will not have much desire to read the scriptures. The one who constantly falls into the Comparison Trap will have trouble accepting God’s grace and love. The message to us today is simple. Don’t be like the overly religious Pharisee, puffed up with pride. Instead, be like the humbled tax collector who knew the basis of any relationship with God could only come from God’s mercy and grace. |
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10/28/01 - The Comparison Trap (Luke 18:9-14)
