Search for the Ultimate Happy Meal
1 Thessalonians 5:16-24
December 15, 2002
St. John United Methodist Church
David Beckett, D.Min.

Are you having fun this Advent season? Today’s Advent candle is the candle of JOY and I find myself wondering if you are experiencing joy in your life. Do you know when you are feeling joy? Or is joy one of those elusive emotions where you don’t fully realize it until after it has left your heart? The dictionary defines joy as "Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness." Now when was the last time you experienced "ecstatic happiness?"

Last week I was visiting Northern Arizona University with my son, Ryan. We also saw my 93-year-old grandmother, probably for the last time this side of heaven. During her goodbyes I watched her embrace Ryan and tell him, "Now remember to always do your best. And remember that God loves you and your family always loves you." My eyes teared up at this sight. It wasn’t sadness, but joy. And then when it was my turn to say goodbye to this dear frail saint, this woman who loved me unconditionally, this woman with such a gentle, sweet spirit, it was joy that welled up in my heart and my eyes. A joy mixed with sadness. But that’s the way it is with joy. It often hides in our hearts and is never too far away from sadness.

It was on our way home in an airport that I read an article from USA Today featuring the work of Dr. Ed Diener, professor of psychology at the University of Illinois. This is the guy who is often called Dr. Happiness. He recently co-edited a major scientific work on happiness called, "Well-being." Martin Seligman, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, also wrote a new book called "Authentic Happiness." Psychologists are now beginning to understand why some people are happy and others are not. Here’s what they discovered.

The happiest people spend the least time alone. Happy people pursue personal growth and intimacy. Happy people judge themselves by their own yardsticks, never against what others do or have. Materialism is toxic for happiness. A person’s cheer level is about half genetic. Everyone has a "set point" for happiness just as they do for weight. People can improve or hinder their well-being, but they aren’t likely to take long leaps in either direction from their set point. Even physical health, assumed by many to be key to happiness, only has an impact if people are very ill. Those who are sick often bear up well while hypochondriacs cling to misery despite their robust health.

A woman stepped on the bathroom scale after two weeks of butterless toast and chilly jogs around the park. The needle was still stuck on the number where she'd started. This struck her as typical of how things had been going lately. She was destined never to be happy. As she dressed, scowling at her tight jeans, she found $20 in her pocket. Then her sister called with a funny story. When she hurried out to the car, angry that she had to get gas, she discovered her roommate had already filled the tank for her. And this was a woman who thought she'd never be happy. As you live through broken relationships, divorce, financial setbacks, and loneliness, have you ever said to yourself, "I guess I’m just not meant to be happy?"

The Rev. James Harnish tells the story of John Ortberg, a pastor from the Willow Creek Church in Chicago who has three small children. As you might guess, when they go out to eat, there is only one place they ever want to go, and it is the shrine of the golden arches. He said his children seem to be convinced that they have a McDonald's-shaped vacuum in their souls. He said the kids always want the same thing. It's a combination of the food, about which they really don't much care, and a little prize. It's not much of a prize, really, just some cheap little plastic thing, but in a moment of marketing genius, the folks at McDonald's gave it a particular name. They call it the Happy Meal. It is the meal of great joy. You aren't just buying chicken McNuggets and a tiny plastic Hercules ring, you're buying happiness.

He says that every now and then he tries to talk them out of it. He tells them to order whatever they want and he will give them a quarter so they can buy their own trinket and everyone will come out ahead. But the chant goes up, We want a Happy Meal. We want a Happy Meal. Other customers stare at the skinflint of a father who won't buy his kids the meal of great joy.
So, he buys them the Happy Meal. And it makes them happy, he says, for about a minute and a half. The problem is that the happy wears off. The contentment doesn't last. You never hear of a young adult coming back to his parents and saying, "Gee, Dad, remember that Happy Meal you gave me? That's where I found lasting contentment and lifelong joy. I knew if I could just have that Happy Meal, I would be content for a lifetime, and I am. Thank you." There'll be no need for therapy for this boy. In fact, the only one that Happy Meals bring real happiness to is McDonald's. You ever wonder why Ronald McDonald has that stupid grin on his face? Twenty billion Happy Meals, that's why. Now, let me share this with you in his words.
"You would think, kids being fairly bright these days, that sooner or later they would catch on to this deal and say, ‘You know, I keep getting these Happy Meals and they don't give me lasting happiness, so I'm not going to be a sucker any more. I'm not going to set myself up for frustration and disappointment any more.’ But it never happens. They keep buying Happy Meals and they keep not working. Of course, only a child would be so foolish. Only a kid would be so naive as to think that contentment could be acquired through some kind of external acquisition. Only someone very young would have a high enough stupid quotient to believe that lasting happiness could come by a change in external circumstances. Right? The truth about human beings is that as we grow up, we don't get any smarter; our Happy Meals just keep getting more expensive. But the world around us tells us that happiness is always just one Happy Meal away."
What are your "Happy Meals?" What is it that gives you a rush, a sense of ecstatic happiness? Do ever tire of the fact that happiness wears off so quickly? Do you ever hear that still, small voice of God speaking to your heart, "You won’t find it there. Come to me for your joy."

Paul wrote to the Christians at Thessalonika these words, "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances." Guess what the scientists have "discovered" about happiness? Gratitude has a lot to do with life satisfaction. New studies show that when we talk and write about what we are grateful for, happiness is amplified. Learning to savor small pleasures has the same effect. Do you know what they discovered as the single most important trait linked to happiness? Is it money, power, prestige, fame? Is it a great education or family closeness? No, the single most important quality that determines how happy and joyful we are is…forgiveness. Don’t you love it when science "discovers" things the Bible has been saying all along?

Let’s get personal here. Where have you been searching for happiness? What childhood dreams did you have about happiness that have been detoured or even destroyed by life’s challenges and losses? Is there some recording that clicks on in your brain sending you a message that goes something like, "You don’t deserve to be happy. You don’t deserve to be happy." Have you bought into the Happy Meal myth that wants us to believe true happiness can be found in external things? True happiness…real joy is found by bringing into our lives the things these scientists tell us…the same realities the Bible has been saying for 2000 years: gratitude, meaningful work, serving others, and forgiveness.

In the December 24, 1996, issue of the Upper Room, Kermit Long of Arizona has a moving story about one Christmas evening in Chicago. "A gentle snowfall added to the already magical, mystical beauty of the season. I had just finished presiding over the first of our candlelight services. Rather than waiting in the church until the late hour for the second service, I visited in the hospitals and roamed the few stores still open for late shoppers. I saw some people in a flower shop and joined them. Soon a young boy of about 7 or 8 came into the shop. His clothes were torn, and his tennis shoes had holes in them. He walked purposefully over to the counter and asked the shopkeeper, 'Do you have any roses for my mother for 10 cents?' The man replied, 'Wait just a moment and I'll see what we can do for you.' After serving the other waiting customers, the owner turned back to the little boy and said, 'I have good news for you. On Christmas Eve, we have a special on roses for young fellows who want them for their mothers.' Taking the lad's dime, he placed a dozen beautiful, long-stemmed red roses in his arms. With a big smile on his face, the boy left the flower shop and headed home. Those of us who looked on were warmed by what we had seen, and I know the shopkeeper felt the blessing of God for his generosity. "

Is this the kind of joyful feeling you’re seeking this Christmas? I know I am looking for it. One thing I know for sure. Joy is all around us. Joy is in our hearts, even though we don’t want to admit it. Joy can be found this Christmas when we are on our knees at the manger.

Brenda Saylor of Cincinnati, Ohio, wrote a poem about joy.

"Shoot," the old woman snorts, "you asking me about joy?"

The old woman twists in her cane chair moving her hands to wipe sweat from her face. "Joy," she whispers oblivious to the summer heat, the traffic passing by or my presence. Staring at the rose bush brilliant in bloom, the old woman speaks:

"There was joy in having the six children, seeing them grown, watching them bring me grandchildren." She pauses. "I like sunrises, too." She chuckles at herself, "All them colors painting up the sky."

Her hands fat with years rub the arms of the cane chair.

"Music brings me joy. Sometimes it's a fiddle, or a bird singing or hearing "Amazing Grace."

I sing to myself while I break beans or pull weeds around the roses. Can't sing a lick but God don't care."

The old woman's gaze barely touches my face before she bows her head.

"I love words, too. Joe says I'm the readin'est woman he's ever seen. I says to him then why are there all those National Geographic and Sports Illustrated magazines in the bathroom?" The old woman's body shakes with laughter. "I still love that old man's banter."

Her smile fades as if remembering the question at hand. She leans across her chair to pat my hand and says, "Living brings me joy. Every day offers something to see or hear or think about. Don't you feel that way, honey? It's life that brings joy."

The woman settles back into her cane chair rocking it against the wood porch. "The Lord ain't made a day yet that I haven't been able to get a little joy out of."

Lasting joy…deep, soulful joy…will never be found in the Happy Meals of life. This kind of joy is found in a saving relationship with the Christ Child of Bethlehem, the Christ of the cross, the Christ of the empty tomb!

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Copyright © 1998-2004 Jon S. Dawson.  Last modified: February 01, 2009

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