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Two guys were in a railroad station at midnight, discussing the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration. They couldn't agree. One finally said, "I'll show you the difference." He went to the phone booth, circled a number in the book and called it. After ringing and ringing, it was finally answered. "Is Ned there?" "NO! There's no Ned here," and the phone was slammed down. "That's irritation," he said to his friend. After another 20 minutes he called again. The phone rang and rang. Finally someone answered and the he asked, "Is Ned there?" The answer came back, "There is no Ned here! I told you before!" --SLAM. "That's aggravation," he said to his partner. Another 20 minutes went by, and the guy said, "Now I'll show you frustration," and he made another call. Finally the phone was answered, "I told you before, there's no Ned here!!!" "But this is Ned--any messages for me?" Grouchy, grumpy, crabby, ill-tempered, cross, cranky, cantankerous. Are you aware of when you are in such a state? Most of us don’t truly know when we have a crabby attitude until we have an opportunity to speak to someone who has irritated us. Sometimes we can’t see ourselves as we are. Do you ever need someone to tell you that you are in a grumpy mood? Are there certain people or situations where you have no self-control, no power to stop yourself from being cranky? I have discovered two times when I am most likely to be crabby. When I get up in the morning and when I come home from work. The problem in the morning is that when I rise I start thinking too quickly about all the things I have to do that day. So everything I do before starting on my "to do" list such as eating breakfast, showering, dressing, brushing my teeth, talking with my family are seen as necessary obstacles standing in the way of my real work. Everything about the time between waking and working is seen as unimportant. So when I can’t find the mate to my sock…. When the kids have consumed all the orange juice….When the trash didn’t get taken out…I can easily feel grumpy thoughts and say grumpy words. Of course this never happens to you! Coming home from work is another crabby time for me. The problem here is on the 5 minute drive home I am in a transition state from work to home. In a transition state we either think about where we have been or where we are going. I don’t know about you but on my drive home I am almost always thinking about work, the place that has been occupying my mind for most of the day. I’m thinking about the agenda for the meeting coming that night, or the sermon theme that week, or an issue with the staff or the building. Rarely, do I think about the home environment I am about to enter. I don’t think about what kind of pressures my three teenagers have faced at school that day. I don’t think about the difficult issues my wife confronted as a school nurse that day. So I try to institute the 15 minute rule. The 15 minute rule is where I agree with myself and God to not say anything to the kids about undone chores or messy rooms for at least 15 minutes. But I have almost no self-control when I see the chaos at home. I’m lucky to wait 15 seconds before saying something to the kids! This summer I did a Grumpy Self-Assessment. That’s when I discovered my morning and after work grumpy times. And then I took this to God in prayer. It didn’t take long for God to reveal the answer to the problem. Crabbiness, grouchiness, grumpiness is about an attitude that is centered on me and my needs. The issue is that I’m not looking for Jesus when I’m grumpy! And so I began a new kind of prayer in the morning. It’s a search for Jesus. I’m looking for Jesus in the morning. I’m looking for Jesus in my wife, in my children, in the beauty of the day. What a difference it is making. On the way home I ask God to help me look for Jesus. This helps me find him in the faces of drivers who seem to be distracted on the road. It helps me wait more patiently in traffic congestion. It helps me prepare for an entrance into a somewhat chaotic home with three teenagers. One of the secrets of Jesus’ life that needs to be imitated by all is that his entire life was an adventurous search for God. He didn’t just look in the beauty of creation. He also looked in the faces of the poor, the outcast, and the self-righteous. Jesus was constantly turning the world upside down. In those days women were deemed inferior to men, but not with Jesus. The poor and sick were viewed as burdens, but not with Jesus. Children were to be seen and not heard, but not with Jesus. One day he wanted to teach his disciples a lesson about serving others. So he took a small child in his arms and said, "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me." V. 37 Herein lies the secret! When we welcome a child into our hearts, we welcome Jesus. Every Sunday we sing the children to the front, "This is where children belong. Water, God’s Word, bread and cup, prayer, and song. This is where children belong." It does seem easier to have a welcoming spirit towards a child over a teenager or adult. At least it seems easier when they are gathered in worship, or playing quietly at home, or curled up in Mom or Dad’s arms. So this thought occurred to me: When I am searching for Jesus in the face of a teenager or adult, I need to look for the child in that non-child body. When I was beginning my professional ministry in Sidney, Ohio I visited 91 year old Mildred, in a nursing home. I loved my visits with Mildred because she was so alive and vibrant. She always asked me about my family. One day she told me, "In my mind I am not 91 years old with this old body. I am a little girl of 11 running footloose and free on my father’s farm." Because Mildred was in touch with the child in her, it helped me to see that child as well. Can you see the child within you? When was the last time you did something childlike? Teenagers sometimes make it challenging for adults to see the child within them. When I was a junior in high school I recall overhearing my mother talking about me with someone on the phone. She said, "Yes, Dave is becoming a very warm person." This struck me because I didn’t know I wasn’t warm and loving. I realized she must have thought there was a time when I was not warm! What a moment of self-revelation! When adults look at teenagers we need to see a child. We need to see Jesus. An elderly woman walked into a J.C. Penney department store. Three young salesclerks were standing there, but since the woman's clothes were a bit tattered and worn, they figured that it was a waste of time to wait on such an unlikely prospect. But there was a fourth young man standing nearby, a devoted Christian for whom kindness was second nature. He approached the elderly woman, helped her make her purchases and then as she checked out, he learned that she was Mrs. J. C. Penney. A story is told about a Nigerian woman who is a physician at a teaching hospital in the United States. She introduced herself to a lecturer using her American name. "What's your African name" the lecturer asked. She immediately gave it to him, several syllables long with a musical sound to it. "What does the name mean?" he wondered. She answered, "It means 'Child who takes the anger away.'" When he inquired as to why she would have been given this name, she said, "My parents had been forbidden by their parents to marry. But they loved each other so much that they defied the family opinions and married anyway. For several years they were ostracized from both their families. Then my mother became pregnant with me. And when the grandparents held me in their arms for the first time, the walls of hostility came down. I became the one who swept the anger away. And that's the name my mother and father gave me." The good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that you and I have a special name. Our name means "beloved child of God." It doesn’t matter that we are 2, or 15, or 64. We all have the spirit of a child within our hearts. And God loves that child. Jesus holds your child-spirit in his arms. And he asks that you and I welcome him by welcoming the child within us all. He asks that we find in the face of every child, every teenager, every adult, the heart of Jesus. |
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09.21.03 - Looking for Jesus (Mark 9:33-37)
